The Other Captain Planet

Hopefully this is not the last time I will be blogging and hopefully I can access my tumblr account. So if you are reading this Mission successful. #GOME!

There have been so many things happening around me. So many lessons just glaring at me that I cannot keep still. I prefer to blog about lessons learnt than specific situations because it is a lot more constructive and I mean let’s face it…you cannot trust just anyone to keep your secrets. Which brings me to this week’s topic. “The (man) Code… Often referenced but rarely followed.” 

Men on a whole are a lot more loyal than women, to the pack they are a part of.  Don’t look for any scientific data to back up this fact because that’s just how it is. If you don’t know then you need to crawl out from under your rock and go have some human interaction. A girl can drop you as a friend for any reason. Trust me I’ve been there but I digress. That is another Post altogether. 

Every organized structure (pack) has a set of rules that govern their behavior. From here on out we shall refer to those rules as the “code”.  And like all codes of conduct, they are often broken. Usually, more times than not, it involves a woman. Now it goes a lot deeper than guys always think with their little head. Here is my take…

Unless you are socially challenged, everyone has friends, and those friends will have friends that are not necessarily mutual. There is a certain degree of loyalty that is expressed for every friend. That’s just how it is; some friends are just closer than others. It is where you fall on this continuum that will determine if you get thrown under the bus or not.

“Everybody who is friendly is not necessarily your friend…”

What’s the “code” you may ask? Well its simple, its “Do onto others as you would like them to do on to  you”. More specifically, don’t mess with my girl friend and/or my food (depends on which is more important ant the time), keep your eyes open and your mouth shut, keep the gay jokes to a minimum, no bitch-ass-ness, and above all respect me as a man. While these are not concrete I like to consider them broad and all encompassing and open to interpretation, much like the constitution of the United States. Which is why there are so many problems in America….can you begin to see the problem now?

Although most “code” violations are relegated to old talk over the domino table with a bottle of Jack, the malicious intent that caused them to even think it is always there. I would like to think that I give everybody a fair chance to defend themselves especially when it is within my camp. “Old talk” is Old talk and rarely goes outside the circle, but when you start siding against the group with people OUTSIDE the group, that’s when it gets sticky. I don’t care what any man says… if he has a girlfriend (not no fly-by-night-call-you-at-3am-so-we-can-watch-tv girlfriend) or a wife, he talks to them about everything. But she has enough sense not to get involved and most times they don’t know why we even have the friends we do because they would drop a heifer quick  like a freshly soiled diaper in the middle of June in Wichita falls…but that is not for them to understand. 

So although you follow the code on a regular, because it is instinctive, I cannot just let it slide when it REALLY MATTERS. When put up against the wall you have to defend it to the end. You can start by saying “No” or “ I don’t know” or my favorite “I rather talk about me and you”. Why? Because…

“All man is man… but you not a man until you a man when it really counts…” 

Everybody has their own loyalties and at the end of the day its where you loyalties really lie that determine whether you get rolled on by that huge semi truck you see coming down the road in the distance. You can either be a deer caught in the head lights or you Jump out of the way. Either way, know where your friend’s loyalties lie before you expect anything out of them. Because even though *YOU* keep the code…You cannot save the world… 

Picture this:

You are walking down a busy street, minding your own business and all of a sudden you bounce into an old friend. You smile and give them a hug/kiss/dap/knocks. *pause*

Now keep in mind that I am Caribbean by heritage and I don’t know if this next phenonmenon is special to Caribbean people or not but this has been my experience. Maybe it’s just another plesantry like “how are you” or “have you lost weight?” -_- what ever it is, it makes me roll my eyes so far behind my head I can see my brain.

*play*

Hey how you doing!! I was JUST thinking about you!! -_- 

Yea right!

I’m assuming in 5% of the cases (and I’m being generous) that statement is actually true because there have been some times when weird things like that happen. But the other 95% of the time I think it’s bull. (whether it is true or not). 

In the year 20KVN (pronounced two thousand and Kevin) I set my world domination plans into motion. It was a great year for my brand I must say and at the end of 20KVN I was well on my way to a comfortable life, a loving family and a fulfilling career. What happened, however, was that being so goal oriented kept me away from the other aspects of my life that I felt were important. One of which was my friendships. 

I suddenly started to alienate myself from the people who were closest to me because it was not ‘convenient’ at the time and I always had something more important to do. I started to feel guilty and thought of my friends regularly but for some reason I never dropped them a line or a text message. I succeeded in gaining the world but lost myself. 

Before the end of the year, with 2 cups of humility and a dash of embarrassment, I called each and every close friend and apologized to them for being such an asshole . Not everyone is a high self monitor like myself and I thank God for that great ability. I told them that I found myself thinking about them all the time but never got around to finding out how they were or touching base, but this year would be different!

I say all this to say: Keep in contact with the people you conisider your real friends and don’t wait for astronomical odds to do so. A kind text or call to find out how they are doing is more than enough. It shows that  you care! Put these meaningful relationships high on you priority list. And although you can’t save the world and be everything to everybody, you can be just enough for yourself!

20KVN has come to and end. Lets bring in 20FRN the right way!! (pronounced 2 thousand and friend :-)-)