In my 24 and 3/4 years of existence I have taken notice of a few things. 

  1. Staticity and regression are a part of GROWTH.
  2. Fire Purifies all.
  3. The eye sees what the mind perceives.

Does making someones expectations the “begin and end all” practical or even healthy? and who’s expectations are the bench mark? A relationship is too dynamic to ever be boxed into a set of rigid rules, expectations, quotas and guidelines. Like any other living entity (yes a relationship is a living entity; it is conceived, grows, and matures/dies) relationships need room to grow, progress, regress, or be still.

As a marketing major I have seen the “Product Life Cycle” so many times its burned into my brain. But a lot of relationship insight can be learnt. 

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A relationship goes through several stages until Death/decline but the particular stage of interest to me is “Growth”. Growth, in my opinion, is the single most important stage in any relationship. It has the power to define your relationship as “lust” “casual” “serious” or “long term”. Allowing a relationship to breath; knowing when to take a step forward, knowing when to take a step back because a step forward is not what you need, and having the courage and confidence to stay back is not an easy thing to do and few people master it. In retrospect, we have all made that mistake. 

I know that once a fire has been lit in you heart for someone it cannot be put out! To prove it think about anyone you have ever TRUELY loved. The person you could do anything for, you could put your neck on a block for, someone you truly felt comfortable with… Now think of your last asshole/bitch “mistake”…

Did you notice something? The love you had for that first person made you warm inside as you thought about them and it instantly disappeared when you thought about your last “mistake”.

You never truly fall out of love with anyone. Yes they did some bad things, they made you cry, but is that what you thought about when you invoked their memory?

yes I like the sex…but I rather be in love

What is it that you really want out of your relationship? I ask because what you want will show it self in everything you do. Do you want more attention, well all you will see is how busy they are. Do you want more exclusivity, well all you will see is how shady he’s been acting lately. Do you want more sex, well all you going to see is that other person that could be getting it. 

My point is, we shouldn’t concern ourselves with the haves and have nots because it will come out in everything we do and say and push the ones we love away. Instead, say something and initiate the change you want!

So what is the moral of this story:

As a people with our own expectations and expectations of others, we tend to be  myopic in our views of what a relationship should and should not be. Honestly, you cannot save the world, if you are happy 80% of the time, then the other 20% can be worked on. Positions, Expectations, and interpretations vary in degree, but the fire burns continuously.  

Because everybody knows but nobody REALLY knows…except you :)

  1. tocp posted this